Book Review: Coming Clean: A Memoir by Kimberly Rae Miller

Okay, so I have to tell you about Coming Clean: A Memoir by Kimberly Rae Miller. I picked it up thinking it was just going to be another story about a tough childhood, but wow, it turned out to be so much more than that. Growing up, I used to watch Hoarders and never really understood the emotional side of what it’s like to live in a home like that. I mean, I got that it was messy, but I didn’t get why it was so damaging. This book opened my eyes to just how deep the effects of hoarding can go, and it was honestly a bit of a gut punch.

Miller’s memoir is her honest, raw account of growing up with parents who were hoarders. And I’m not talking about a little clutter here and there—this was full-on, out-of-control hoarding. The kind of hoarding that makes it impossible to walk through rooms, where piles of stuff are everywhere, and your house feels like a maze. At first, Miller didn’t even realize how bad it was. She was just a kid, trying to navigate a world where she could barely find a place to sit without having to move a mountain of newspapers. It was normal to her, but as she got older, she started to see how much it was holding her back—not just physically, but emotionally.

The Reality of Hoarding

I think one of the biggest things that hit me while reading this is how hoarding isn’t just about being messy. It’s a real, serious mental health issue. For Miller’s parents, it wasn’t just about having too much stuff—it was about an inability to let go of things, even if they didn’t serve a purpose anymore. Her dad was obsessed with collecting things, and her mom couldn’t throw anything away, even if it was broken or useless. So, their house became this overwhelming, suffocating place. But it wasn’t just about the clutter—it was about the emotional neglect that came with it.

Miller describes how her parents’ hoarding was like a wall between them. They were so wrapped up in their own issues that they couldn’t give her the love and attention she needed. Instead, she had to hide her friends when they came over because she was so ashamed of the mess. She’d spend hours trying to clean up, but it always felt like an impossible task because the clutter would just return. It’s heart-breaking to think about, but it also made me realize how much of a toll it takes on a kid to grow up in that kind of environment.

The Emotional Toll

What really stuck with me was how the effects of hoarding didn’t just disappear when Miller left home. It wasn’t like she just walked out of her parents’ house and everything magically got better. The emotional scars of growing up in a hoarded home followed her into adulthood. She talks about how she struggled with feelings of shame and anxiety, and how the chaos she grew up in affected her ability to form relationships and trust others.

It’s clear that the trauma wasn’t just about the mess—it was about the constant instability, the emotional neglect, and the feeling of being trapped in a situation she couldn’t control.

I think I always thought that hoarding was just about physical clutter, but Miller’s memoir made me realize that it’s so much deeper than that. It’s a mental health issue that affects every part of your life, and it’s something that can’t just be cleaned up with a few hours of tidying. The emotional toll is real, and it’s something that lingers long after the piles of stuff are gone.

Finding Strength in the Chaos

What I really loved about this book is how Miller doesn’t paint herself as a victim. Yes, she went through a lot, but she also shows how she found strength and resilience in the face of all that chaos. Her journey isn’t just about surviving her childhood—it’s about learning to forgive her parents, understanding why they behaved the way they did, and ultimately, finding peace within herself. It’s honestly inspiring to see how she was able to take such a difficult experience and turn it into something that helped her grow and heal.

I also really appreciated how she doesn’t sugar-coat the reality of hoarding. It’s not a feel-good story with a perfect ending. It’s messy, it’s painful, and it’s a process. But that’s what makes it so real and relatable. Miller’s vulnerability and honesty throughout the book are what make it so powerful.

If you’ve ever watched Hoarders and thought, “How could anyone live like that?” or wondered what it’s really like to grow up in a hoarded home, Coming Clean is the book to read. It’s an eye-opening look at the emotional and psychological toll of hoarding, and it’s also a story of resilience and healing.

Miller’s memoir made me realize that hoarding isn’t just about stuff—it’s about the emotional weight that comes with it. It’s a tough, but incredibly rewarding read, and I highly recommend it.